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Webdunk wrote:

"If you are ten and you are watching this right now, it's exactly as good as you think it is. It is actually that good."
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Jack735 wrote:

A ventriloquist visiting the north east walks into a small village and sees a local sitting in his porch patting his dog. He figures he'll have a little fun, so he says to the man

"Can I talk to your dog?"

Colin: "The dog doesn't talk, you stupid git."

Ventriloquist: "Hello dog, how's it going mate?"

Dog: "Doing all right."

Colin: (look of extreme shock)

Ventriloquist: "Is Colin your owner?" (pointing to Colin)

Dog: "Yep"

Ventriloquist: "How does he treat you?"

Dog: "Real good. He walks me twice a day, feeds me great food and takes me to the lake once a week to play."

Colin: (look of utter disbelief)

Ventriloquist: "Mind if I talk to your horse?"

Colin: "Uh, the horse doesn't talk either.... I think."

Ventriloquist: "Hey horse, how's it going?"

Horse: "Cool"

Colin: (absolutely dumbfounded)

Ventriloquist: "Is this your owner?" (pointing at the Colin)

Horse: "Yep"

Ventriloquist: "How does he treat you?"

Horse: "Pretty good, thanks for asking. He rides me regularly, brushes me down often and keeps me in the barn to protect me from the elements."

Colin: (total look of amazement)

Ventriloquist: "Mind if I talk to your sheep?"

Colin: (in a panic) "The sheep's a liar

[Who is Colin?]

oh ewe are awful but I like ewe...

A ventriloquist visiting the north east walks into a small village and sees a local sitting in his porch patting his dog. He figures he'll have a little fun, so he says to the man

"Can I talk to your dog?"

Colin: "The dog doesn't talk, you stupid git."

Ventriloquist: "Hello dog, how's it going mate?"

Dog: "Doing all right."

Colin: (look of extreme shock)

Ventriloquist: "Is Colin your owner?" (pointing to Colin)

Dog: "Yep"

Ventriloquist: "How does he treat you?"

Dog: "Real good. He walks me twice a day, feeds me great food and takes me to the lake once a week to play."

Colin: (look of utter disbelief)

Ventriloquist: "Mind if I talk to your horse?"

Colin: "Uh, the horse doesn't talk either.... I think."

Ventriloquist: "Hey horse, how's it going?"

Horse: "Cool"

Colin: (absolutely dumbfounded)

Ventriloquist: "Is this your owner?" (pointing at the Colin)

Horse: "Yep"

Ventriloquist: "How does he treat you?"

Horse: "Pretty good, thanks for asking. He rides me regularly, brushes me down often and keeps me in the barn to protect me from the elements."

Colin: (total look of amazement)

Ventriloquist: "Mind if I talk to your sheep?"

Colin: (in a panic) "The sheep's a liar

[Who is Colin?]

Edited by Jack735

Oooh, The machine of a dream, such a clean machine With the pistons a pumpin', and the alloys all gleam, When I'm holding your wheel, All I hear is your gear, With my hand on your grease gun, Mmm it's like a disease son, I'm in love with my car, gotta feel for my automobile, Get a grip on my .......