Mens Rules |
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Nigel
Moderator Group Joined: 09-November-2002 Status: Offline Points: 6941 |
Topic: Mens Rules Posted: 13-March-2004 at 11:23 |
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We always hear the rules from the female side. Now here are the "rules" from the male side. They are all numbered 1 on purpose to make it easier for the ladies. 1. The weekend = sports, its like the full moon, or the changing of the tides....let it be. 1. Shopping is NOT a sport, and no, we are never going to think of it that way. 1. Crying is blackmail. 1. Learn to work the toilet seat, your a big girl, if its up put it down. We need it up, you need it down, you dont hear us complaining about you leaving it down. 1. Ask for what you want, lets be clear on this one, subtle hints dont work ! strong hints dont work ! obvious hints dont work ! JUST SAY IT ! 1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost any question. 1. Come to us with a problem ONLY if you want help solving it, sympathy is what your girlfriends give you. 1. A headache that lasts for several months IS a problem....see a doctor 1. Anything we said six months ago is inadmissible in an argument, in fact all comments become null and void after seven days. 1. If you wont dress like a french maid dont expect us to act like your soap opera heros. 1. If you think your fat you probably are, dont ask us. 1. If something we said can be interpreted in two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one. 1. You can either ask us to do something, or tell us how its done, not both, if you already know how best to do it, then do it yourself. 1. Whenever possible please say what you have to say during the adverts. 1. Christopher Columbus did not need directions, and niether do we. 1. ALL men see only in sixteen colours, like windows default settings. Peach for example is a fruit not a colour. We have no idea what mauve is. 1. If it itches it WILL be scratched, we do that. 1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing", we will act as if nothing is wrong, we know you are lying, but its just not worth the hassle. 1. If you ask a question and you dont want an answer, expect an answer you didnt want to hear. 1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine,............ really. 1. Dont ask us what were thinking about, unless you are prepared to discuss sex, cars, beer or sport. 1. You have enough clothes. 1. You have too many shoes. 1. I am in shape, round IS a shape. 1. Thankyou for reading this, yes I know I will have to sleep on the couch tonight, but did you know, men really dont mind that, its like camping.
Edited by Nigel |
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Best Wishes
Nigel |
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Sponsored Links | ||||||||||
kbannon
Admin Group E39 525i Sport Individual Joined: 09-October-2002 Location: 64 Zoo Lane Status: Offline Points: 15508 |
Posted: 13-March-2004 at 11:42 | |||||||||
LOL
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Current: 2009 E60 520d "Sport" tractor
Previous: 1989 E30 320i SE 1997 E39 523i 2003 E39 525i Sport Individual |
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bigfub
Groupie Joined: 21-October-2003 Location: United Kingdom Status: Offline Points: 55 |
Posted: 14-March-2004 at 08:19 | |||||||||
And so true.
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'86 635CSi - Sold
'88 E34 535i |
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Peter H
Really Senior Member II Joined: 03-January-2004 Location: Worcestershire/Ost Bayern Status: Offline Points: 927 |
Posted: 14-March-2004 at 17:40 | |||||||||
Going to send this to a few people!!!
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Das Wolperdinger
AHN-NYUNG-HEE GA-SEH-YO |
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Sohlman
Really Senior Member II Coupe Chairman Joined: 19-August-2003 Location: Surrey Status: Offline Points: 1259 |
Posted: 14-March-2004 at 18:13 | |||||||||
Seen it, Readit, Enjoyed it, Made my girlfriend read and learn it. Am still on the sofa! |
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Sunday 10th July Brooklands Sharkfest and Big Coupe Day. Coupe Events
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skull
Really Senior Member II Joined: 20-April-2003 Location: United Kingdom Status: Offline Points: 640 |
Posted: 14-March-2004 at 23:29 | |||||||||
the dogs m8
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just a little crazy.
My drive E46 M3 COUPE [MAN]CARBON BLACK GREY LEATHER H/K 19"s LED REARS S/B. |
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Peter Fenwick
Bavarian-Board Contributor Joined: 27-August-2003 Location: Lost somewhere in time... Status: Offline Points: 6484 |
Posted: 15-March-2004 at 09:46 | |||||||||
Not brave enough to show it to my girlfriend, or at least if i do I won't be getting any for quite a while! All absolutley spot on though. It's like whoever wrote that knows her!! |
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Entering an age of Austerity and now driving a Focus Diesel.
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kbannon
Admin Group E39 525i Sport Individual Joined: 09-October-2002 Location: 64 Zoo Lane Status: Offline Points: 15508 |
Posted: 15-March-2004 at 10:53 | |||||||||
[no offence intended to any female members!] Whats the difference between PMT & BSE? One attacks the cows brain and causes it to go absolutely mad. The other is an agricultural disease! |
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Current: 2009 E60 520d "Sport" tractor
Previous: 1989 E30 320i SE 1997 E39 523i 2003 E39 525i Sport Individual |
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Nigel
Moderator Group Joined: 09-November-2002 Status: Offline Points: 6941 |
Posted: 15-March-2004 at 17:57 | |||||||||
Brilliant Killian, absolutely brilliant |
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Best Wishes
Nigel |
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IamSpartacus
Moderator Group Joined: 21-November-2002 Location: Singapore Status: Offline Points: 3625 |
Posted: 15-March-2004 at 18:29 | |||||||||
Getting all picture & no sound after sharing that one at home!!
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The world is a tragedy to those who feel, but a comedy to those who think.
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kbannon
Admin Group E39 525i Sport Individual Joined: 09-October-2002 Location: 64 Zoo Lane Status: Offline Points: 15508 |
Posted: 16-March-2004 at 00:25 | |||||||||
LOL @ Sohlman & Derek You should know better than to show this kind of stuff to 'er indoors. show her this for the craic ---------------- I phoned up a really gorgeous ex-girlfriend of mine the other day. Edited by kbannon |
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Current: 2009 E60 520d "Sport" tractor
Previous: 1989 E30 320i SE 1997 E39 523i 2003 E39 525i Sport Individual |
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Nigel
Moderator Group Joined: 09-November-2002 Status: Offline Points: 6941 |
Posted: 16-March-2004 at 19:44 | |||||||||
I too have shared this one with the wife. Stunned silence was the response. Killian I have to take my hat off to you. I'd been looking for her "mute" button for years, you found it from that distance. Cheers mate. |
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Best Wishes
Nigel |
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Peter H
Really Senior Member II Joined: 03-January-2004 Location: Worcestershire/Ost Bayern Status: Offline Points: 927 |
Posted: 16-March-2004 at 21:43 | |||||||||
So - Your now living in the car & using Laptop ????
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Das Wolperdinger
AHN-NYUNG-HEE GA-SEH-YO |
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kbannon
Admin Group E39 525i Sport Individual Joined: 09-October-2002 Location: 64 Zoo Lane Status: Offline Points: 15508 |
Posted: 16-March-2004 at 21:43 | |||||||||
ROFL |
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Current: 2009 E60 520d "Sport" tractor
Previous: 1989 E30 320i SE 1997 E39 523i 2003 E39 525i Sport Individual |
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kbannon
Admin Group E39 525i Sport Individual Joined: 09-October-2002 Location: 64 Zoo Lane Status: Offline Points: 15508 |
Posted: 16-March-2004 at 22:06 | |||||||||
Nige, specially for you... & there is one for your missus / family |
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Current: 2009 E60 520d "Sport" tractor
Previous: 1989 E30 320i SE 1997 E39 523i 2003 E39 525i Sport Individual |
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Peter H
Really Senior Member II Joined: 03-January-2004 Location: Worcestershire/Ost Bayern Status: Offline Points: 927 |
Posted: 17-March-2004 at 06:42 | |||||||||
Soon to be avaliable at Ann Summers, other shops are avaliable & may stock this item
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Das Wolperdinger
AHN-NYUNG-HEE GA-SEH-YO |
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IamSpartacus
Moderator Group Joined: 21-November-2002 Location: Singapore Status: Offline Points: 3625 |
Posted: 18-March-2004 at 09:54 | |||||||||
What's in the piccies?? I'm just gettting those little white boxes with red x's in 'em..... no fair!!
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The world is a tragedy to those who feel, but a comedy to those who think.
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kbannon
Admin Group E39 525i Sport Individual Joined: 09-October-2002 Location: 64 Zoo Lane Status: Offline Points: 15508 |
Posted: 18-March-2004 at 09:57 | |||||||||
possibly your work filter try http://www.sillyhumor.com/remote/shemotecontrol_2.jpg & http://www.sillyhumor.com/remote/hemotecontrol_2.jpg |
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Current: 2009 E60 520d "Sport" tractor
Previous: 1989 E30 320i SE 1997 E39 523i 2003 E39 525i Sport Individual |
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IamSpartacus
Moderator Group Joined: 21-November-2002 Location: Singapore Status: Offline Points: 3625 |
Posted: 18-March-2004 at 10:01 | |||||||||
Good link.............
You are not permitted to access the URL http://www.sillyhumor.com/remote/shemotecontrol_2.jpg due to the policy of Wyeth. If you believe that this is an error, then you should contact your local Help Desk. Please read WebNOT at Wyeth for more information. This message came from Maidenhead Cache #1
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The world is a tragedy to those who feel, but a comedy to those who think.
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IamSpartacus
Moderator Group Joined: 21-November-2002 Location: Singapore Status: Offline Points: 3625 |
Posted: 18-March-2004 at 10:03 | |||||||||
ARRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHH how do they ever expect me to be sufficiently motivated to do any work
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The world is a tragedy to those who feel, but a comedy to those who think.
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