I have a wife like this lady !!!!!!!!!

A few days ago I was having some work done at my local  garage.

A lady came in and asked for a seven-hundred-ten

We all looked at each other, and another customer asked,
 "What is a seven-hundred-ten?"

She replied, "You know, the little piece in the 
middle of the engine,

I lost it and need a new one. It had always been there."

The mechanic gave the lady a piece of paper and a  pen and asked
her to draw what the piece looked like.

She drew a circle and in the middle of it wrote 710.

He then took her over to another car which had the bonnet up
and asked, "is there a 710 on this car?" She pointed and said,
"Of course,  it's   right there."

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LOL...is that a joke?

I hope that didn't really happen, although it wouldn't supprise me.

Good, but not as funny as the little old lady who had a problem with her mini.

She kept bringing the mini in to the garage to have it checked by the mechanics for 'misfiring and runnning rough'.

The mechanic repeatedly told her that there was nothing wrong with the car. It was running perfectly all the time.

So the little old lady took it away again. Then she came back in and said it was doing the same thing.

So, the mechanic decided to get in the car with her and see if she could get the car to have the problem.

The mechanic got in the car. The liitle old laddy got in the car.

The little old lady put on her gloves and pulled out the choke.

Then proceded to hook her handbag over the choke lever!!!

Problem solved!

Pikey

Pikey

The original story was passed to me of course, this one really is my wife !

After passing her test, her first unsupervised drive was over the other side of the city to her sisters.

I received a phone call to say her car wouldn't start.

I placed the children in my car, put my tools in the back, drove over to her sisters ................ it wouldn't "start" because the steering lock was on !

It's not just women who do silly things.

When I was at 6th form college one of the lads I new was trying to fill up his windscreen wash bottle. However he got the wrong filler cap and ended up putting a litre of water into the engine!

On a slightly different note a mate of mine who owns an Alfa (foolish man) was in the dealers once collecting his car after a service. There was an older lady in front of him who was also collecting her car. She was commenting on how the courtesy car always felt a lot better to drive than her own despite them being exactly the same model. Yes said the service manger, the mechanic who did the road test noticed your car was a bit sluggish, but we couldn't find anything wrong with it. How do you drive it? Oh very carefully she said. I never go above 3000rpm. The service manager then spent the next five minutes explaining to her that 16valve engines need to be revved, even if only occaisionally to keep then running well.

The same guys dad owns an Audi A3 and he asked him if he would drive it as he was having problems with it stalling. He drove the car for about an hour and it never stalled once, although his dad did tell him off for going over 4000rpm, in case he damaged the engine! He then suggested that him and his dad swap places. The first junction they came too the car stalled when pulling away. The reason? His dad was not giving it enough revs. His last car was a diesel.

 

Nigel wrote: The original story was passed to me of course, this one really is my wife ! After passing her test, her first unsupervised drive was over the other side of the city to her sisters. I received a phone call to say her car wouldn't start. I placed the children in my car, put my tools in the back, drove over to her sisters ................ it wouldn't "start" because the steering lock was on !

My wife did the exact same thing except she called the AA just wished i'd been there!she has been driving now for 4years and has never used the steering lock since lol!

Edited by jamie (e39)528i

Oh yes, loads of fun alerts, even better the dreaded tacivals !!

Unlike Ian I didnt have to take part though, RHIP lol

Next time your Mrs asks you to put shelves and the like (as they do just after you have sat down to watch the footy on the tele) inform her that you can't because your spirit level is broken and if she wants the shelves up she must go to the local diy store to purchase a replacement bubble for your spirit level while you get the rest of the tools out etc.

Await one very confused female arriving back from aforementioned diy store and have a right good laff at her expense!

Andrew

 

For what use it was, he probably thought he'd shove it up his.. anyway, on a similar theme a lad on a building site was aked to get a rubber hammer, which he did to the amazment of the blokes that asked him for it.. (turns out his dad had one in the back shed, and told him it was there in case of just a moment)

He couldn't find any glass nails though..

Ah, called the 'long stand' around here.
scratch head, look round, says to apprentice 'can see a couple of short and medium ones, but no long ones.. go to store and ask for a long stand will you..' and maybe, 'while your at it ask for a tin of elbow grease and a left handed screwdriver, this ones no good'

There is such a thing as 'plastic wood' though, a mate found this out when he thought he was being wound up, he didnt bother looking for it instead he just wasted half an hour standing around chatting. Was told off when he got back without it.. (In his deffence, he'd just been got with the long stand one..)