A day in the life of a BMW driver ...

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   taken from uk.rec.cars.misc
I had to laugh
=====
The other day I was cruising along as usual in my BMW coming onto one of my motorways, which was very busy with inferior cars.

First off, I couldn't believe that the volume of traffic DIDN'T slow down for me AT ALL as I came off the slip road! I had to squeeze into a barely big enough gap between two cars in order to get onto my motorway! (The driver of the car behind me did realise his mistake though and honked an apology to me with a long blast of his horn.)

Unbelievably, I had to do the same again before I could get to the BMW lane. (Why do underlings use this lane? Surely everyone knows it is for BMW drivers only?)

Anyway, once I was in the BMW lane and posing along at 110mph enjoying the adulation that the inferior car drivers were giving me, I noticed an inferior car ahead of me which was not only in the BMW lane of my motorway, but was driving at a ridiculous 70 mph!

Naturally, I got to within a foot or so of his rear bumper and flashed my headlights to remind him he shouldn't be in the BMW lane of my motorway and to get out of my way.

Of course, once he realised it was a BMW behind him, he did just that, but I could hardly believe it when he pulled straight back out behind me! He also tried to keep up with me and when he realised I would out-run him, he put on some blue lights in his front grill and urged me to get onto the hard shoulder so that he could congratulate me on my excellent car.

Needless to say, I was eager oblige and when we had stopped, the man gave me a piece of paper confirming what I already knew - that my car goes fast!

Apparently he wants everyone to know what a superior car I have, so I had to take my driver's licence to a Police Station to be sent away to have some points put on! (They're not free points either - they're �20 each and I was only allowed 3.) But the man at the Police Station said that because I drive a BMW, it won't be much longer before I earn the full 12 points, and then I won't even NEED a driving licence, so they will take it off me!

See, now THAT's the sort of respect you get when you buy and drive a BMW!

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kbannon Members Profile Send Private Message Find Members Posts Visit Members Homepage Add to Buddy List Admin Group E39 525i Sport Individual Joined: 09-October-2002 Location: 64 Zoo Lane Status: Offline Points: 15508	Topic: A day in the life of a BMW driver ... Posted: 18-November-2002 at 18:35
	taken from uk.rec.cars.misc I had to laugh ===== The other day I was cruising along as usual in my BMW coming onto one of my motorways, which was very busy with inferior cars. First off, I couldn't believe that the volume of traffic DIDN'T slow down for me AT ALL as I came off the slip road! I had to squeeze into a barely big enough gap between two cars in order to get onto my motorway! (The driver of the car behind me did realise his mistake though and honked an apology to me with a long blast of his horn.) Unbelievably, I had to do the same again before I could get to the BMW lane. (Why do underlings use this lane? Surely everyone knows it is for BMW drivers only?) Anyway, once I was in the BMW lane and posing along at 110mph enjoying the adulation that the inferior car drivers were giving me, I noticed an inferior car ahead of me which was not only in the BMW lane of my motorway, but was driving at a ridiculous 70 mph! Naturally, I got to within a foot or so of his rear bumper and flashed my headlights to remind him he shouldn't be in the BMW lane of my motorway and to get out of my way. Of course, once he realised it was a BMW behind him, he did just that, but I could hardly believe it when he pulled straight back out behind me! He also tried to keep up with me and when he realised I would out-run him, he put on some blue lights in his front grill and urged me to get onto the hard shoulder so that he could congratulate me on my excellent car. Needless to say, I was eager oblige and when we had stopped, the man gave me a piece of paper confirming what I already knew - that my car goes fast! Apparently he wants everyone to know what a superior car I have, so I had to take my driver's licence to a Police Station to be sent away to have some points put on! (They're not free points either - they're �20 each and I was only allowed 3.) But the man at the Police Station said that because I drive a BMW, it won't be much longer before I earn the full 12 points, and then I won't even NEED a driving licence, so they will take it off me! See, now THAT's the sort of respect you get when you buy and drive a BMW!
	Current: 2009 E60 520d "Sport" tractor Previous: 1989 E30 320i SE 1997 E39 523i 2003 E39 525i Sport Individual

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pcbim Members Profile Send Private Message Find Members Posts Visit Members Homepage Add to Buddy List Groupie Joined: 12-October-2002 Location: Bristol Status: Offline Points: 80	Posted: 18-November-2002 at 19:13
	with his attitude sounds like he deserves all that he gets
	2002 320d tourer

Rory Members Profile Send Private Message Find Members Posts Add to Buddy List Newbie Joined: 30-October-2002 Location: United Kingdom Status: Offline Points: 62	Posted: 19-November-2002 at 01:09
	How funny is that! lol Mind you it would seem that some BM drivers do think that way. Rory

Adam Garside Members Profile Send Private Message Find Members Posts Visit Members Homepage Add to Buddy List Groupie Joined: 20-November-2002 Location: United Kingdom Status: Offline Points: 70	Posted: 20-November-2002 at 12:21
	The People in my work are giving me funny looks cos i'm laughing too loud! I know a guy like that in his 328i coupe, even though i roasted him round the basingstoke ring road he still looks down his nose at my car. Ha, Ha, eat E30 Dust! Adam, http://www.geocities.com/little_log/

MancRover Members Profile Send Private Message Find Members Posts Visit Members Homepage Add to Buddy List Groupie Joined: 13-November-2002 Location: United Kingdom Status: Offline Points: 59	Posted: 20-November-2002 at 13:06
	So a guy in a BMW is in a parking lot getting into his car. As soon as he opens the door, someone in another car drives by and knocks his door clean off. He starts sobbing next to his car. "My car! I've only had it for a month!" A passer-by saw what happened and said, "Man- All you BMW drivers are the same! You're so materialistic!! You care so much about your car.. and you didn't even notice that your right arm got ripped off!" The guy replied, "Oh my god!! My gold rolex!!!!"
	Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks. They charged one and let the other one off.

captain picard Members Profile Send Private Message Find Members Posts Add to Buddy List Newbie Joined: 07-December-2002 Location: United Kingdom Status: Offline Points: 10	Posted: 07-December-2002 at 05:32
	this cracked myself and my brother in law up a few days ago. i was sitting at the lights waiting to join the a127 at the a132 roundabout at basildon,essex and what pulls up along side...a 328i e36,not exactly unusual,but what he did next was..... now,my car is a 1984 323i in what i think is a cool colour-henna red,he decided that HE was going to race me from the line,so i let him.....he lost his arse end and proceeded to hit the kerb with his alloy and we were both sure he had buckled it(well,it looked that way from behind him),he wouldnt move over to let us overtake...(probably wasnt expecting an e30 to play,especially with nitrous!) anyway,i saw a gold cavalier come up the a128 sliproad at about 90 and the driver had the obligatory epolettes on(and nifty looking blue lights on the top of the headlamps!)...after cutting up several cars in what i can only descibe as the most stupid f-ing manouver i have seen in a long time,plodspots his first target...us!(should have known,the car has the nitrous badge warnings on the wings and on the boot!)so we sat at 70mph and moved over for him and after giving us the 'evils',he took off after the 328 i wonder if he got pulled by the fuzz......my wife says its quite painfull (but thats what you get when my tea aint ready when i get in,get back in the kitchen,why aint you hoovering?etc.....(lol)

jaseb Members Profile Send Private Message Find Members Posts Add to Buddy List Senior Member II Joined: 11-November-2002 Status: Offline Points: 237	Posted: 03-January-2003 at 00:10
	They'll expect us to use indicators soon as well... I do get a bit fed up with other inferior cars in the BMW lane, I mean I try and stay out of the fiesta lane (middle one obviously) and there's no way I'm going to get stuck oin the ruts of the lorry lane. Flippin oiks get everywhere. what is the world coming to

chrishay Members Profile Send Private Message Find Members Posts Add to Buddy List Newbie Joined: 16-January-2003 Location: England Status: Offline Points: 2	Posted: 16-January-2003 at 18:29
	i get a lot of abuse in mine!!!!!! in fact i nealy got rid of it........ i worked hard to buy mine. you get idiots who think just because you drive a bmw your a total twat. not so. if someone has a nice car respect them for it, until you get to know otherwise!

johno Members Profile Send Private Message Find Members Posts Add to Buddy List Newbie Joined: 26-January-2003 Location: Great Britain Status: Offline Points: 3	Posted: 26-January-2003 at 15:38
	can anybody help me on getting info on my 1990 535i sport auto.need some help on its history thanks

johno Members Profile Send Private Message Find Members Posts Add to Buddy List Newbie Joined: 26-January-2003 Location: Great Britain Status: Offline Points: 3	Posted: 26-January-2003 at 16:02
	is there really anybody out there or is this a setup.i really do need to find somebody who can help with info on my 535 sport.where are all the club reps,in the pub. pppllleeeeeaaasssseeee help me

Slatz Members Profile Send Private Message Find Members Posts Add to Buddy List Newbie Joined: 17-December-2002 Location: Great Britain Status: Offline Points: 40	Posted: 26-January-2003 at 16:53
	Johno. Try posting in the Technical or General Members forum. You might get a better response!!!

Rhys Members Profile Send Private Message Find Members Posts Add to Buddy List Moderator Group Coffee addict... Joined: 02-February-2003 Location: from the Latin locātiō Status: Offline Points: 10053	Posted: 17-February-2003 at 22:36
	It does go to show that nearly every one ranks BMW drivers as the most ignorant and worst of car drivers. (those that don't drive BMW's anyway) As with everything its the few that give us a bad name.

paul325i Members Profile Send Private Message Find Members Posts Visit Members Homepage Add to Buddy List Really Senior Member II Joined: 23-January-2003 Location: United Kingdom Status: Offline Points: 666	Posted: 20-February-2003 at 15:54
	New 7 series drivers maybe, but us lowly E30 drivers are still on the ground, and i must admit i'm not scared to use that fiesta lane to save fuel but the bits of rusty ford that keep hitting my paintwork are to annoying to stay there for long, more of a rest then back to the carpet goes the big pedal.
	Visit My BMW Got an E30? Visit The E30 Zone

325SME Members Profile Send Private Message Find Members Posts Add to Buddy List Senior Member II Joined: 09-December-2002 Location: The Valleys, South Wales Status: Offline Points: 154	Posted: 23-February-2003 at 22:10
	Talking of BMW lanes, did you know there's a BMW only toll booth on the M4 by the Severn bridge? It's the last one on the right under the yellow sign, although to receive full benefit you do need the right change because it has a coin bin. See no human contact to slow you down!! It also has the magical ability to make sure the lane ahead of you is clear so you can return to normal cruising speed as quickly as possible!!
	Retro is the way forward.....