E39 Common Faults

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   I think the bottom post on this sums it up...

E39 BMWs commonly do lots of things: 

1. Its door seals will �Creak like a wooden sailing ship�, unless you replace the door seals (temp fix). 

2. Its Air Conditioning will have the �aroma of a used gym sock�, unless you occasionally disinfect the A/C system. 

3. Its front brakes will �Squeak like a scared mouse�, unless you properly lube the brake pad attachment points. 

4. Has an electrical system �as stable as MS Windows�, and most
electrical glitches can be �fixed� by rebooting the system by removing
the appropriate fuses, or disconnecting the battery. 

5. The steering wheel will Shimmy like Anna Nicole Smith trying to get
into a pair of Guess Jeans (most commonly affects 528/530s) unless you
get just the right torque on the lug bolts and PSI in the tires, Maybe.

6. As pixels burn out the MID computer text will resemble the language for the blind known as braille. 

7. Electric auxiliary �pusher� fan will make your car sound like a jet ready for take-off, but only if it works. 

8. Rear Window Regulator will �let you down� only when it is most inconvenient for you. 

9. Radiator Neck will break off with no warning (at driver side top hose) 

10. Catalytic Converters will sound like they full of marbles when they are ready to fail, and are good for about 60k Miles. 

11. The Camshaft Position Sensor (CPS) is so reliable that you should carry a spare in your trunk. 

12. The Mass Air Flow (MAF) sensor will (need a little help here) 

13. The Final Stage Resistor will have no problem varying the airflow
in your car, but the problem is that it does it even when its not
supposed to, until to totally quits that is, then you will have no
airflow. 

14. Don't even think about using the "canholders" to hold any unsealed
container lest you prepare to clean your pants, the car interior, and
replace any electronics that were damaged. 

15. You say that you like the �Dukes of Hazard�? Well I hope so because
you�ll be forced to enter and exit your car through open windows like
Bo and Luke Duke when the interior door handles break off in your hand.
This is the true reason that BMWs can roll the windows up and down from
the key. 

16. With the manual transmission, no matter how quickly you lift your
foot off the clutch pedal, the clutch always engages the flywheel at a
constant rate. What�s up with that? I�m not even going to try this one,
Dave Z has it nailed. http://www.zeckhausen.com/CDV.htm