YA NO YIR SCOTTISH IF?

You can properly pronounce McConnochie, Ecclefechan Milngavie, Sauchiehall, St Enoch, Auchtermuchty and Aufurfuksake.

You actually like deep fried battered pizza from the chippie.

You get four seasons in one day.

You can't pass a chip/kebab shop withoot slavering when your pished.

You can fall about pished without spilling yer drink.

You see people wear shell suits with burberry accessories - pure class!

You measure distance in minutes.

You can understand Rab C Nesbitt and know characters just like him, in your own family.

You can make whole sentences just with swear words.

You know what haggis is made from and still like eating it.

You've been at a wedding and football scores are announced in the Church/Chapel.

You aren't surprised to find curries, pizzas, kebabs, fish n chips, irn-bru, fags and nappies all in the one shop.

Your holiday home at the seaside has calor gas under it.

A big flash car has a ned at the wheel.

You know irn-bru is a hangover cure.

You learnt to swear before you learnt to do sums.

You've heard these:

"how's it hingin"
"clatty"
"boggin"
"pished"
"get it up ye"
"wee beasties"
"a*se bandit"
"away an bile yer heid"
"peely-wally"
"Ba'-heid"
"baw bag"
"dubble nuggit"
"Fit lyk min bam?"

bm24v wrote: Hey jist think if see aw keep tokin lit this thay'll no unnnerston is...y'no it's nae wunner they canny git tae grip wi the Glasga lingo. Richt so hoo kin pit sum uther waffle tae aw this..

your not  origionally from glasgow , are you

ya belter, thas a braw wee post there bud, like.

Where did tha cum frae then, like? Is it yer ain yin? If it is, like, thas cool..

missed out the one were its wierd but your only scotish if you can

- pronounce 'loch ' propererly without it sounding like lock ...

A Dundonian goes into Wallaces Peh shop for a peh and two bridies - a plain yin and a ninging ning an ah

Ye're bad mastards, awlly ye

Aw' ra bes' an' 'at...

Why is an organisation a "Disney" organisation? 'cause 't disny wurrk!

tonybmw wrote: Were do u get them from neil hahaha

They are so old, that I was told them when I was a boy

Used to love listening to Staley Baxter's Parliamo Glasgow - sample clip here  [needs Real Player]