Understanding Engineers |
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Daz
Really Senior Member II Joined: 03-August-2004 Location: Dubai Status: Offline Points: 1497 |
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Posted: 19-February-2007 at 11:26 |
>> Understanding Engineers >> Understanding Engineers - Take One >> Two engineering students were walking across a university campus when >> one said, >> "Where did you get such a great bike?" >> The second engineer replied, "Well, I was walking along yesterday, >> minding my own business, when a beautiful woman rode up on this bike, >> threw it to the ground, took off all her clothes and said, "Take what >> you want." >> The second engineer nodded approvingly and said, "Good choice; the >> clothes probably wouldn't have fit you anyway." >> >> >> Understanding Engineers - Take Two >> To the optimist, the glass is half full. >> To the pessimist, the glass is half empty. >> To the engineer, the glass is twice as big as it needs to be. >> >> >> Understanding Engineers - Take Three >> A priest, a doctor, and an engineer were waiting one morning for a >> particularly slow group of golfers. >> The engineer fumed, "What's with those blokes? We must have been waiting >> for fifteen minutes!" >> The doctor chimed in, "I don't know, but I've never seen such inept >> golf!" >> The priest said, "Here comes the greens keeper. Let's have a word with >> him." >> He said, "Hello, George! what's wrong with that group ahead of us? >> They're rather slow, aren't they?" >> The greens keeper replied, "Oh, yes. That's a group of blind fire >> fighters. They lost their sight saving our clubhouse from a fire last >> year, so we always let them play for free anytime." >> The group fell silent for a moment. >> The priest said, "That's so sad. I think I will say a special prayer for >> them tonight." >> The doctor said, "Good idea. I'm going to contact my ophthalmologist >> colleague and see if there's anything he can do for them." >> The engineer said, "Why can't they play at night?" >> >> >> Understanding Engineers - Take Four >> What is the difference between mechanical engineers and civil engineers? >> Mechanical engineers build weapons and civil engineers build targets. >> >> >> Understanding Engineers - Take Five >> The graduate with a science degree asks, "Why does it work?" >> The graduate with an engineering degree asks, "How does it work?" The >> graduate with an accounting degree asks, "How much will it cost?" The >> graduate with an arts degree asks, "Do you want fries with that?" >> >> >> Understanding Engineers - Take Six >> Three engineering students were gathered together discussing the >> possible designers of the human body. >> One said, "It was a mechanical engineer. Just look at all the joints." >> Another said, "No, it was an electrical engineer. The nervous system has >> many thousands of electrical connections." >> The last one said, "No, actually it had to have been a civil engineer. >> Who else would run a toxic waste pipeline through a recreational area >?" >> >> >> Understanding Engineers - Take Seven >> Normal people believe that if it ain't broke, don't fix it. >> Engineers believe that if it ain't broke, it doesn't have enough >> features yet. >> >> >> Understanding Engineers - Take Eight >> An engineer was crossing a road one day, when a frog called out to him >> and said, "If you kiss me, I'll turn into a beautiful princess." >> He bent over, picked up the frog and put it in his pocket. >> The frog spoke up again and said, "If you kiss me and turn me back into >> a beautiful princess, I will stay with you for one week." >> The engineer took the frog out of his pocket, smiled at it and returned >> it to the pocket. >> The frog then cried out, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a >> Princess, I'll stay with you for one week and do ANYTHING you want." >> Again, the engineer took the frog out, smiled at it and put it back into >> his pocket. >> Finally, the frog asked, "What is the matter? I've told you I'm a >> beautiful princess, and that I'll stay with you for one week and do >> anything you want. Why won't you kiss me?" >> The engineer said, "Look, I'm an engineer. I don't have time for a >> girlfriend, but a talking frog, now that's cool." |
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dryle
Really Senior Member II Joined: 31-January-2006 Location: Enfield. Status: Offline Points: 1348 |
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Dave Ryle
"The power of accurate observation is commonly called cynicism by those who have not got it." -- George Bernard Shaw |
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