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540 V8 
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Lick my badge Joined: 07-December-2005 Location: Running the asylum Status: Offline Points: 2280 |
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 Posted: 13-August-2007 at 21:23 |
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Sounds like Killian is the man to hire for your wedding for entertainment lol! Good luck mate. I did it 4 years ago and I have no regrets. The hard bit was actually the organisation. Once I got there I don't know why but I had no nerves at all. It'll all be over in a flash! One thing I was told by a few people was no matter how much you drink on your wedding day/night, you will not get drunk! I didn't believe a word until I necked 4 bottles of beer at home before we left for the reception then a very large glass of JD with a splash of coke. The rest of the night was spent with friends buying me drinks like absynth and other delights and when we got back to the hotel, I had another few glasses of JD. I felt a little tired but sober as a judge! You'll have to let me know if you get the same! Good luck! Mike |
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Current:E34 540i Touring 6 speed manual(Mpower bodykit & suspension)& Chrysler Voyager 3.3 V6 auto Previous:E34 530iSE AC Schnitzer suspension. E28 525e auto-Standard |
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Rhys
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Coffee addict... Joined: 02-February-2003 Location: from the Latin locātiō Status: Offline Points: 10053 |
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Posted: 13-August-2007 at 20:51 |
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Just think, you get 15 years for murder.. marriage is for life
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V reg Rustbucket Merc C220 Cdi estate
J Reg Saab 900i 16v '63 Ford Anglia 105e deluxe R reg Honda PC50 moped.. No BMW as yet... |
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kbannon
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E39 525i Sport Individual Joined: 09-October-2002 Location: 64 Zoo Lane Status: Offline Points: 15508 |
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Posted: 13-August-2007 at 20:14 |
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1. Many people say that your
wedding day is the happiest day of your life. So, if
that's the case, I'd like to ask the husbands amongst
you, does that mean it's all downhill from here?
2. Being a husband is a whole-time job. That is why so many husbands fail. They cannot give their entire attention to it 3. During the wedding rehearsal, the groom approached the pastor with an unusual offer: "Look, I'll give you $100 if you'll change the wedding vows. When you get to the part where I'm supposed to promise to 'love, honor and obey' and 'be faithful to her forever,' I'd appreciate it if you'd just leave that out." He passed the minister a $100 bill and walked away satisfied. On the day of the wedding, when it came time for the groom's vows, the pastor looked the young man in the eye and said: "Will you promise to prostrate yourself before her, obey her every command and wish, serve her breakfast in bed every morning of your life, and swear eternally before God and your lovely wife that you will not ever even look at another woman, as long as you both shall live?" The groom gulped and looked around, and said in a tiny voice, "Yes," then leaned toward the pastor and hissed: "I thought we had a deal." The pastor put a $100 bill into the groom's hand and whispered: "She made me a better offer."4. Marriage is not a word. It's a sentence 5. Marriage is a 3-ring circus - engagement ring, wedding ring and Suffering. 6. A happy marriage is a matter of give and take; the husband gives and the wife takes. 7. Love is one long sweet dream, and marriage is the alarm clock. 8. The definition of a perfect Wife? - one who helps the husband with the dishes... 9. The Minister noticed the bride was in distress so asked what was wrong. She replied that she was awfully nervous and afraid she would not remember what to do. The Minister told her that she only needed to remember 3 things. First the aisle, cos that is what you'll be walking down. Secondly, the alter because that is where you will arrive. Finally, remember hymn because that is a type of song we will sing during the service. While the bride was walking in step with the wedding march, family and friends of the groom were horrified to hear her repeating these 3 words ...Aisle, alter hymn (I'll alter him) 10. A little kid asks his Dad, "Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?" "No idea," replied the Father, "I'm still paying for it..." 11. Marriage - an institution in which a man loses his Bachelor's Degree and the woman gets her Masters. 12. There's a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. It's called marriage. 13. The man who says his wife can't take a joke, forgets that she took him (Oscar Wilde) 14. The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret. 15. Isn't it quite funny how History repeats itself? [Bride's Age] years ago your Mother and Father were putting you to bed with a dummy...and now it's happening all over again 16. I've known many, Liked not a few, Loved only one, I toast to you 17. May we never forget what is worth remembering or remember what is best forgotten. 18. Here's to my bride: she knows everything about me, yet loves me just the same. Edited by kbannon |
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Current: 2009 E60 520d "Sport" tractor
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Andrew Rolland
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Go away rain Joined: 19-August-2004 Location: Scotland Status: Offline Points: 6579 |
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Posted: 13-August-2007 at 08:33 |
I'll not be saying that one though! |
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Be exclusive and drive a Petrol 5 Series!
Current '13 62 F10 535i MSport Auto Previous '04 04 E60 545i SE Auto '03 53 E60 545i SE Auto (Stolen) '98 S E39 523i SE Auto |
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Allan320
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Obsessive Detailer! Joined: 03-March-2005 Location: Glasgow Status: Offline Points: 669 |
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Posted: 09-August-2007 at 17:29 |
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Good luck mate.
I was at a wedding and the groom told the room booking joke.
"I called the hotel to book our room for after the proceedings. The woman asked me if I would like the bridal, but i said no, Id just rather hold her by the ears, These hotels will do anything to get money out of you :D Lead Brick anyone? |
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Big Stuff
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Joined: 30-November-2006 Location: Glenrothes Fife Status: Offline Points: 299 |
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Posted: 09-August-2007 at 17:25 |
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Not too late to back out mate
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2002 330ci SE - Factory Straight - Now gone cause am skint and in a wee diesel - Aw naw - boo hoo
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nessiemark
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Joined: 02-March-2007 Location: Taunton (Scottish at Heart) Status: Offline Points: 366 |
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Posted: 09-August-2007 at 17:10 |
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No but good luck anyway.
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E36 M3 GT sold
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Andrew Rolland
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Go away rain Joined: 19-August-2004 Location: Scotland Status: Offline Points: 6579 |
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Posted: 07-August-2007 at 13:19 |
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Well since I posted this post nearly a year has gone by! Two weeks on Saturday and I'll be a married man...and I am seriously bricking it! We were at a wedding a week past on Saturday and there I was sitting listening to the groom with the "I Robert take...." part and it then hit me that this was going to happen to me very shortly and ever since then I have been getting really nervous. Paaaarrrrppppp Got a rough draft of my speech done but just to cheer myself up can anyone on here suggest any clean/ish jokes that I can use in my speech? Andrew |
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Be exclusive and drive a Petrol 5 Series!
Current '13 62 F10 535i MSport Auto Previous '04 04 E60 545i SE Auto '03 53 E60 545i SE Auto (Stolen) '98 S E39 523i SE Auto |
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18 days to go till I get married!
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Allan320 wrote:
That is a good one!