Have you heard the one about the blonde? |
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Andrew Rolland
Moderator Group Go away rain Joined: 19-August-2004 Location: Scotland Status: Offline Points: 6579 |
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Posted: 22-October-2010 at 08:24 |
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Cheek! |
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Issy
Admin Group THE BOSS! Joined: 21-February-2007 Location: Port Seton Status: Offline Points: 4429 |
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A
girl was visiting her blonde friend, who had acquired two new dogs, and
asked her what their names were. The blonde responded by saying that
one was named Rolex and one was named Timex. Her friend said, 'Whoever
heard of someone naming dogs like that?' 'HELLLOOOOOOO......,' answered
the blonde. 'They're watch dogs'!
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AndyS
Really Senior Member II The Last of the Few Joined: 21-August-2003 Location: 55 � North Status: Offline Points: 1365 |
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It would need to catch it first.
I've seen an Irish Wolfhound wimpering like a new born puppy after it stuck it's nose too close to a cat & got it shredded. It's attitude not size that counts. What's the toughest, meanest creature in the UK (apart from a Glaswegian drunk)? The Scottish Wildcat. Interact with your dog? Picking up its turds to take home after 'walkies'. Lovely! |
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Cambell
Really Senior Member II Joined: 07-January-2007 Status: Offline Points: 3830 |
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No mate, a big dog, could snap that neck like a tooth pick !!!
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AndyS
Really Senior Member II The Last of the Few Joined: 21-August-2003 Location: 55 � North Status: Offline Points: 1365 |
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A good description of people who don't like cats. You must have been a mouse in a previous life. I'm watching you sonny . . . |
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Cambell
Really Senior Member II Joined: 07-January-2007 Status: Offline Points: 3830 |
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In Alabama preacher said to his congregation, 'Someone in this congregation has spread a rumor that I belong to the Ku Klux Klan." This is a horrible lie and one which a Christian community cannot tolerate.
I am embarrassed and do not intend to accept this.. Now, I want the Party who did this to stand and ask forgiveness from God and this Christian Family.'
No one moved.
The preacher continued, 'Do you have the nerve to face me and admit this is a falsehood? Remember, you will be forgiven and in your heart you will feel glory. Now stand and confess your transgression.'
Again all was quiet.
Then slowly, a drop-dead gorgeous blonde with a body that would Stop traffic rose from the third pew. Her head was bowed and her voice quivered as she spoke, 'Reverend there has been a terrible misunderstanding. I never said you were a member of the Ku Klux Klan. I simply told a couple of my friends that you were a Wizard under the sheets.'
The preacher fell to his knees, his wife fainted, and the Congregation roared. |
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Cambell
Really Senior Member II Joined: 07-January-2007 Status: Offline Points: 3830 |
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I'm calm, had a cat here once, for 3 weeks. Smelly flippin thing and my £3000 suite ruined with little claw shaped punctures. Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr |
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Cambell
Really Senior Member II Joined: 07-January-2007 Status: Offline Points: 3830 |
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Damn right !! nice to have a pet that can interact with you and not just sit there licking itself after it ruined your house and owning you !! |
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Issy
Admin Group THE BOSS! Joined: 21-February-2007 Location: Port Seton Status: Offline Points: 4429 |
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Calm doon!!!! calm doon!!!! He not living in your house!!! Bit of a thread hyjack going on here!
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stephenperry
Bavarian-Board Contributor Joined: 20-April-2004 Location: Elgin Status: Offline Points: 7213 |
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a dog person are you Cambell?
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2007 Ford Mondeo 2.0 TDCI Titanium X Auto 1983 Ford Sierra XR4i 2000 Alpina B10 3.3 #118 1999 BMW 323Ci 1995 BMW 318i SE 1994 Vauxhall Omega 2.0 GLS 1995 Ford Mondeo 1.8 LX 1990 Honda Concerto 1.6 EX 1986 Ford Orion 1.6 GL 1989 Ford Fiesta 1.1 Firefly |
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Cambell
Really Senior Member II Joined: 07-January-2007 Status: Offline Points: 3830 |
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A great money saving device, save buying a suite ever again as I'm sure Chester will sharpen his claws on it. Oh aye, he'll spray everywhere so the house will stink of cat p1sh. Indifferent insignificent and pointless little animals. Still I'm sure the half dead birds and rats he brings in will be most welcome and useful. The best ever cat related thing I've ever seen is a plaque reading "A cat and its servants live here" |
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stephenperry
Bavarian-Board Contributor Joined: 20-April-2004 Location: Elgin Status: Offline Points: 7213 |
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what a cutie sorry, very soppy, definately a cat person, i can never resist a feline!
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2007 Ford Mondeo 2.0 TDCI Titanium X Auto 1983 Ford Sierra XR4i 2000 Alpina B10 3.3 #118 1999 BMW 323Ci 1995 BMW 318i SE 1994 Vauxhall Omega 2.0 GLS 1995 Ford Mondeo 1.8 LX 1990 Honda Concerto 1.6 EX 1986 Ford Orion 1.6 GL 1989 Ford Fiesta 1.1 Firefly |
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Issy
Admin Group THE BOSS! Joined: 21-February-2007 Location: Port Seton Status: Offline Points: 4429 |
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Thats Chester he is 6 weeks old! |
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stephenperry
Bavarian-Board Contributor Joined: 20-April-2004 Location: Elgin Status: Offline Points: 7213 |
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awwwwwww |
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2007 Ford Mondeo 2.0 TDCI Titanium X Auto 1983 Ford Sierra XR4i 2000 Alpina B10 3.3 #118 1999 BMW 323Ci 1995 BMW 318i SE 1994 Vauxhall Omega 2.0 GLS 1995 Ford Mondeo 1.8 LX 1990 Honda Concerto 1.6 EX 1986 Ford Orion 1.6 GL 1989 Ford Fiesta 1.1 Firefly |
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Issy
Admin Group THE BOSS! Joined: 21-February-2007 Location: Port Seton Status: Offline Points: 4429 |
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I know it needs washed and im stressing about it but im not up to it so going to try jet wash it at the weekend. |
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Cambell
Really Senior Member II Joined: 07-January-2007 Status: Offline Points: 3830 |
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Nice pic of power station soot
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Issy
Admin Group THE BOSS! Joined: 21-February-2007 Location: Port Seton Status: Offline Points: 4429 |
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Ehhhhhh pick on me why dont you!! This was bad enough!!!!! Anyway Im going ginger to match my pussy!!! |
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nero
Moderator Group Just call me Tripod Joined: 15-October-2002 Location: Scotland Status: Offline Points: 3131 |
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I saw that one coming - how did I know, it says Medium on my underpants |
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Cambell
Really Senior Member II Joined: 07-January-2007 Status: Offline Points: 3830 |
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Blonde walks into a bar and stands next to a large construction worker. She looks at him and asks, "why do your wellie boots have L & R on them ?" He replies "I'm a bit thick and that reminds me that L goes on my left foot and R goes on my right foot" Her eyes light up as she exclaims "Oh !!!!! That'll be why my knickers have C & A on them then!!" |
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Andrew Rolland
Moderator Group Go away rain Joined: 19-August-2004 Location: Scotland Status: Offline Points: 6579 |
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Q What do you call 10 blondes standing shoulder to shoulder? A A telescope! |
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Be exclusive and drive a Petrol 5 Series!
Current '13 62 F10 535i MSport Auto Previous '04 04 E60 545i SE Auto '03 53 E60 545i SE Auto (Stolen) '98 S E39 523i SE Auto |
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