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Forum LockedHave you heard the one about the blonde?

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Issy View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Issy Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 14-October-2010 at 20:31
Originally posted by Cambell Cambell wrote:

Originally posted by Issy Issy wrote:

Thats Chester he is 6 weeks old!

A great money saving device, save buying a suite ever again as I'm sure Chester will sharpen his claws on it. Oh aye, he'll spray everywhere so the house will stink of cat p1sh. Indifferent insignificent and pointless little animals.

Still I'm sure the half dead birds and rats he brings in will be most welcome and useful.

The best ever cat related thing I've ever seen is a plaque reading "A cat and its servants live here"



Calm doon!!!! calm doon!!!! He not living in your house!!! Bit of a thread hyjack going on here!

Originally posted by stephenperry stephenperry wrote:

a dog person are you Cambell?




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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Cambell Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 14-October-2010 at 21:12

Originally posted by stephenperry stephenperry wrote:

a dog person are you Cambell?
 

Damn right !! nice to have a pet that can interact with you and not just sit there licking itself after it ruined your house and owning you !!

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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Cambell Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 14-October-2010 at 21:17

Originally posted by Issy Issy wrote:


Calm doon!!!! calm doon!!!! He not living in your house!!!

I'm calm, had a cat here once, for 3 weeks. Smelly flippin thing and my £3000 suite ruined with little claw shaped punctures. Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Cambell Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 15-October-2010 at 23:28

In Alabama preacher said to his congregation, 'Someone in this 

congregation has spread a rumor that I belong to the Ku Klux

Klan." This is a horrible lie and one which a Christian community cannot 

tolerate. 

 

I am embarrassed and do not intend to accept this.. Now, I want the 

Party  who did this to stand and ask forgiveness from God and this 

Christian Family.' 

 

No one moved. 

 

The preacher continued, 'Do you have the nerve to face 

me and admit this is a falsehood? Remember, you will be forgiven 

and in your heart you will feel glory. Now stand and confess your 

transgression.' 

 

Again all was quiet. 

 

Then slowly, a drop-dead gorgeous blonde with a body that would 

Stop traffic rose from the third pew. Her head was bowed and her voice 

quivered as she spoke, 'Reverend there has been a terrible 

misunderstanding. I never said you were a member of the Ku Klux

Klan. I simply told a couple of my friends that you were a 

Wizard under the sheets.' 

 

The preacher fell to his knees, his wife fainted, and the 

Congregation roared. 

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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote AndyS Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 18-October-2010 at 22:03
Originally posted by Cambell Cambell wrote:

Indifferent insignificent and pointless little animals.

A good description of people who don't like cats. You must have been a mouse in a previous life.



I'm watching you sonny .  .  .

AndyS
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Cambell Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 18-October-2010 at 22:16
No mate, a big dog, could snap that neck like a tooth pick !!!
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote AndyS Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 21-October-2010 at 22:31
It would need to catch it first.

I've seen an Irish Wolfhound wimpering like a new born puppy after it stuck it's nose too close to a cat & got it shredded. It's attitude not size that counts. What's the toughest, meanest creature in the UK (apart from a Glaswegian drunk)? The Scottish Wildcat.

Interact with your dog? Picking up its turds to take home after 'walkies'. Lovely!


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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Issy Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 21-October-2010 at 23:11
A girl was visiting her blonde friend, who had acquired two new dogs, and asked her what their names were. The blonde responded by saying that one was named Rolex and one was named Timex. Her friend said, 'Whoever heard of someone naming dogs like that?' 'HELLLOOOOOOO......,' answered the blonde. 'They're watch dogs'!


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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Andrew Rolland Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 22-October-2010 at 08:24

Originally posted by AndyS AndyS wrote:

What's the toughest, meanest creature in the UK (apart from a Glaswegian drunk)?

Cheek!

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