Have you heard the one about the blonde? |
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Issy
Admin Group THE BOSS! Joined: 21-February-2007 Location: Port Seton Status: Offline Points: 4429 |
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Calm doon!!!! calm doon!!!! He not living in your house!!! Bit of a thread hyjack going on here!
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Cambell
Really Senior Member II Joined: 07-January-2007 Status: Offline Points: 3830 |
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Damn right !! nice to have a pet that can interact with you and not just sit there licking itself after it ruined your house and owning you !! |
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Cambell
Really Senior Member II Joined: 07-January-2007 Status: Offline Points: 3830 |
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I'm calm, had a cat here once, for 3 weeks. Smelly flippin thing and my £3000 suite ruined with little claw shaped punctures. Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr |
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Cambell
Really Senior Member II Joined: 07-January-2007 Status: Offline Points: 3830 |
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In Alabama preacher said to his congregation, 'Someone in this congregation has spread a rumor that I belong to the Ku Klux Klan." This is a horrible lie and one which a Christian community cannot tolerate.
I am embarrassed and do not intend to accept this.. Now, I want the Party who did this to stand and ask forgiveness from God and this Christian Family.'
No one moved.
The preacher continued, 'Do you have the nerve to face me and admit this is a falsehood? Remember, you will be forgiven and in your heart you will feel glory. Now stand and confess your transgression.'
Again all was quiet.
Then slowly, a drop-dead gorgeous blonde with a body that would Stop traffic rose from the third pew. Her head was bowed and her voice quivered as she spoke, 'Reverend there has been a terrible misunderstanding. I never said you were a member of the Ku Klux Klan. I simply told a couple of my friends that you were a Wizard under the sheets.'
The preacher fell to his knees, his wife fainted, and the Congregation roared. |
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AndyS
Really Senior Member II The Last of the Few Joined: 21-August-2003 Location: 55 � North Status: Offline Points: 1365 |
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A good description of people who don't like cats. You must have been a mouse in a previous life. I'm watching you sonny . . . |
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Cambell
Really Senior Member II Joined: 07-January-2007 Status: Offline Points: 3830 |
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No mate, a big dog, could snap that neck like a tooth pick !!!
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AndyS
Really Senior Member II The Last of the Few Joined: 21-August-2003 Location: 55 � North Status: Offline Points: 1365 |
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It would need to catch it first.
I've seen an Irish Wolfhound wimpering like a new born puppy after it stuck it's nose too close to a cat & got it shredded. It's attitude not size that counts. What's the toughest, meanest creature in the UK (apart from a Glaswegian drunk)? The Scottish Wildcat. Interact with your dog? Picking up its turds to take home after 'walkies'. Lovely! |
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Issy
Admin Group THE BOSS! Joined: 21-February-2007 Location: Port Seton Status: Offline Points: 4429 |
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A
girl was visiting her blonde friend, who had acquired two new dogs, and
asked her what their names were. The blonde responded by saying that
one was named Rolex and one was named Timex. Her friend said, 'Whoever
heard of someone naming dogs like that?' 'HELLLOOOOOOO......,' answered
the blonde. 'They're watch dogs'!
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Andrew Rolland
Moderator Group Go away rain Joined: 19-August-2004 Location: Scotland Status: Offline Points: 6579 |
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Cheek! |
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Be exclusive and drive a Petrol 5 Series!
Current '13 62 F10 535i MSport Auto Previous '04 04 E60 545i SE Auto '03 53 E60 545i SE Auto (Stolen) '98 S E39 523i SE Auto |
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