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IamSpartacus
Moderator Group
Joined: 21-November-2002
Location: Singapore
Status: Offline
Points: 3625
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Topic: More Humour? Posted: 05-May-2004 at 15:32 |
How's this by way on an explanation as to why things take so long and cost so much.....
Before you laugh too hard, I'm ashamed to say that the content of the mail is real, as is my onward accompanying messge to the troops. I've changed the names to protect the indolent (and also hopefully ensure my continued employment)
Enjoy
Subject:VIP visit to 'Your Area'
All,
'My Boss' has advised that me there will be two tours involving 'His Boss' and 'His Bosses Boss' from 9. till 12 tomorrow (Thursday). He has asked that we arrange to have our teams actively testing in the areas at this time.
Could you all pass this onto your teams and reply to myself and My Boss with detail of who who will be working and where. Also need to know times of tea breaks.
Tom / Dick / Harry could you please respond for 'your boss' because 'your boss' is out today.
Regards
'The Boss'
Here's what I sent on to the team....
Subject:FWD: VIP visit to 'Your Area'
Heads up! Clean undies all round tomorrow, I believe Uncle 'XXX' will be carrying out random inspections - don't say you weren't warned.
Can we make sure that the less appealing team members are assigned to back of house areas for the duration of the visit. Those with speech impediments or a distinct lack of them for that matter (Tourettes - you know who you are) should hole up in the canteen until the all clear is given.
Remember to mention how you love the 'Company' Way as they pass on through having shared some of their greatness with you. Please save everyone the embarassment of a refusal... there will be no photos!
Thanks
Your Boss'
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The world is a tragedy to those who feel, but a comedy to those who think.
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Peter Fenwick
Bavarian-Board Contributor
Joined: 27-August-2003
Location: Lost somewhere in time...
Status: Offline
Points: 6484
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Posted: 05-May-2004 at 16:03 |
Sounds similar to what goes on at our place. The preparations for one of the 'bosses' visits take about 100 times longer than the actual visit, and he is highly likely to cancel at the last minute anyway.
One of the silliest situations we were put through was a photography session. The company wanted some photos of us working to put in a glossy brochure. They arranged to have a photographer come round and take some shots of us 'at work'. Anyway because what we actually do dosen't make good pictures they had us doing some pretend work. Now because at the time I worked in a chemistry lab they had us holding test tubes of brightly coloured bubbling liquids and other such stereotypical chemistry stuff. It had absolutely nothing to do with what we actually do, it took about 2 days to organise, the photo session then lasted about 10 minutes and they ended up using 1 photo. Time well spent if you ask me!!
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Entering an age of Austerity and now driving a Focus Diesel.
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tris
Groupie
Joined: 04-July-2003
Location: United Kingdom
Status: Offline
Points: 86
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Posted: 13-May-2004 at 12:58 |
Derek
Sounds like Dilbert Material to me
Tris
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E30 320i Touring
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Horsetan
Really Senior Member II
Say Neigh to Gatsos
Joined: 11-April-2003
Location: Please let it be Ireland
Status: Offline
Points: 6381
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Posted: 13-May-2004 at 18:35 |
It IS Dilbert material.
This is all symptomatic of WCUK.
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CarlA
Really Senior Member I
BMWCC & Coupe Register Member
Joined: 27-March-2004
Location: Sheffield
Status: Offline
Points: 255
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Posted: 13-May-2004 at 19:02 |
Hey Guy's,
Sounds like a normal day in the Office to me.
Everyone is so cost conscious these days but when it's time to showing people around and looking busy, this seems to be forgotten!!
Carl.
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IamSpartacus
Moderator Group
Joined: 21-November-2002
Location: Singapore
Status: Offline
Points: 3625
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Posted: 13-May-2004 at 19:07 |
Horsetan wrote:
It IS Dilbert material.
This is all symptomatic of WCUK. |
?WCUK? wazzat?
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The world is a tragedy to those who feel, but a comedy to those who think.
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Horsetan
Really Senior Member II
Say Neigh to Gatsos
Joined: 11-April-2003
Location: Please let it be Ireland
Status: Offline
Points: 6381
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Posted: 14-May-2004 at 10:12 |
Derek M5 wrote:
Horsetan wrote:
It IS Dilbert material.
This is all symptomatic of WCUK. |
?WCUK? wazzat? |
WCUK: would you like me to explain this in detail publicly, with the ever-present risk of Nigel and Killian reaching for "Delete", or would you prefer a PM?
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spokey
Bavarian-Board Contributor
Offensive and obnoxious tub of lard
Joined: 02-March-2004
Location: United Kingdom
Status: Offline
Points: 1948
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Posted: 14-May-2004 at 12:11 |
Horsetan wrote:
Derek M5 wrote:
Horsetan wrote:
It IS Dilbert material.
This is all symptomatic of WCUK. |
?WCUK? wazzat? |
WCUK: would you like me to explain this in detail publicly, with the ever-present risk of Nigel and Killian reaching for "Delete", or would you prefer a PM? |
Well, I'd like to know too...
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Ciao,
Spokey
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Horsetan
Really Senior Member II
Say Neigh to Gatsos
Joined: 11-April-2003
Location: Please let it be Ireland
Status: Offline
Points: 6381
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Posted: 14-May-2004 at 12:43 |
Erring on the side of caution, I have explained "WCUK" via PM. Killian, of course, knew what it stood for ages ago...
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kbannon
Admin Group
E39 525i Sport Individual
Joined: 09-October-2002
Location: 64 Zoo Lane
Status: Offline
Points: 15508
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Posted: 14-May-2004 at 12:50 |
I did???
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Current: 2009 E60 520d "Sport" tractor Previous: 1989 E30 320i SE 1997 E39 523i 2003 E39 525i Sport Individual
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Horsetan
Really Senior Member II
Say Neigh to Gatsos
Joined: 11-April-2003
Location: Please let it be Ireland
Status: Offline
Points: 6381
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Posted: 14-May-2004 at 12:58 |
kbannon wrote:
I did??? |
You certainly did. I had to explain by PM back there as well, as it wasn't fit to be read publicly...
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ConeKiller
Groupie
Joined: 29-March-2004
Location: United Kingdom
Status: Offline
Points: 66
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Posted: 23-May-2004 at 00:10 |
I work for a very small company. t's a fairly utopian existence as communication is usually swift enough to avoid dilbertisms occuring, but we see a lot of it elsewhere and laugh heartily. The Dilbert strips are very much based in reality.
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* share and enjoy *
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spokey
Bavarian-Board Contributor
Offensive and obnoxious tub of lard
Joined: 02-March-2004
Location: United Kingdom
Status: Offline
Points: 1948
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Posted: 23-May-2004 at 01:21 |
ConeKiller wrote:
I work for a very small company. t's a fairly utopian existence as communication is usually swift enough to avoid dilbertisms occuring, but we see a lot of it elsewhere and laugh heartily. The Dilbert strips are very much based in reality. |
I work for a very large multi-national, and Dilbert is so true to my working life, most days it's not even funny, it's just what happened yesterday.
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Ciao,
Spokey
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CarlA
Really Senior Member I
BMWCC & Coupe Register Member
Joined: 27-March-2004
Location: Sheffield
Status: Offline
Points: 255
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Posted: 23-May-2004 at 17:40 |
I would also like to know what WCUK is.
Horsetan send me a PM too.
Thanks
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Horsetan
Really Senior Member II
Say Neigh to Gatsos
Joined: 11-April-2003
Location: Please let it be Ireland
Status: Offline
Points: 6381
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Posted: 24-May-2004 at 10:47 |
CarlA wrote:
I would also like to know what WCUK is.
Horsetan send me a PM too. |
Ah, demand is picking up!
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Wonkydog
Senior Member II
Joined: 29-January-2003
Location: United Kingdom
Status: Offline
Points: 196
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Posted: 25-May-2004 at 20:40 |
Yes please, me too!
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Wonkydog
Senior Member II
Joined: 29-January-2003
Location: United Kingdom
Status: Offline
Points: 196
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Posted: 25-May-2004 at 20:41 |
Go on then lets make it 100.
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Peter H
Really Senior Member II
Joined: 03-January-2004
Location: Worcestershire/Ost Bayern
Status: Offline
Points: 927
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Posted: 25-May-2004 at 21:17 |
Look you are encouraging him again, it will all end in tears
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Das Wolperdinger
AHN-NYUNG-HEE GA-SEH-YO
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Horsetan
Really Senior Member II
Say Neigh to Gatsos
Joined: 11-April-2003
Location: Please let it be Ireland
Status: Offline
Points: 6381
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Posted: 27-May-2004 at 23:01 |
Wonkydog wrote:
Yes please, me too! |
I have now explained "WCUK" to you via PM....
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Horsetan
Really Senior Member II
Say Neigh to Gatsos
Joined: 11-April-2003
Location: Please let it be Ireland
Status: Offline
Points: 6381
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Posted: 27-May-2004 at 23:02 |
Peter H wrote:
Look you are encouraging him again, it will all end in tears |
It started in tears, anyway....
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