A motoring joke

A Penguin is driving along when his car starts leaking oil. The breakdown mechanic says, "It will take an hour to fix", so the penguin goes for a nice cold bowl of vanilla ice-cream.
As he has no hands, eating it is messy and gets ice-cream all round his mouth.
Back at the car the mechanic says, "It looks like you've blown a seal!"
The penguin says. "No, no its just ice-cream".

Y e e e s s s . . .


Next, please!

they sure do...
[a must for every office manager!
dublin culture]

golf joke #1
Two men were having an awfully slow round of golf because the two ladies in front of them managed to get into every sand trap, lake and rough on the course. They didn't bother to wave the men on through, which is proper golf etiquette.
After two hours of waiting and waiting, one man said, "I think I'll walk up there and ask those gals to let us play through." He walked out onto the fairway, got halfway to the ladies, stopped, turned around, and came back, explaining, "I can't do it. One of those women is my wife and the other is my mistress! Maybe you'd better go talk to them."

The second man walked toward the ladies, got halfway there and, just as his partner had done, stopped, turned around, walked back, and said, "Small world."

golf joke #1
A husband and wife want to take golf lessons from a pro at a local golf club. They head to the driving range and meet the pro. The man goes first. He swings and hits the ball 100 yards.

The golf pro says, "Not bad, now hold your club as firmly as you hold your wife's breast." The man follows his instructions and hits the ball 300 yards. The golf pro says, "Excellent!"

Now the woman takes her turn. She hits the ball 30 yards.

The golf pro says, "Not bad, but try holding the club like you hold your husband's penis." She swings and the ball goes 10 yards. The golf pro says, "Not bad, now try taking the club out of your mouth."

LOL (or more of a chuckle)!!