Understanding Engineers

>> Understanding Engineers

>> Understanding Engineers - Take One

>> Two engineering students were walking across a university campus when

>> one said,

>> "Where did you get such a great bike?"

>> The second engineer replied, "Well, I was walking along yesterday,

>> minding my own business, when a beautiful woman rode up on this bike,

>> threw it to the ground, took off all her clothes and said, "Take what

>> you want."

>> The second engineer nodded approvingly and said, "Good choice; the

>> clothes probably wouldn't have fit you anyway."

>>

>>

>> Understanding Engineers - Take Two

>> To the optimist, the glass is half full.

>> To the pessimist, the glass is half empty.

>> To the engineer, the glass is twice as big as it needs to be.

>>

>>

>> Understanding Engineers - Take Three

>> A priest, a doctor, and an engineer were waiting one morning for a

>> particularly slow group of golfers.

>> The engineer fumed, "What's with those blokes? We must have been waiting

>> for fifteen minutes!"

>> The doctor chimed in, "I don't know, but I've never seen such inept

>> golf!"

>> The priest said, "Here comes the greens keeper. Let's have a word with

>> him."

>> He said, "Hello, George! what's wrong with that group ahead of us?

>> They're rather slow, aren't they?"

>> The greens keeper replied, "Oh, yes. That's a group of blind fire

>> fighters. They lost their sight saving our clubhouse from a fire last

>> year, so we always let them play for free anytime."

>> The group fell silent for a moment.

>> The priest said, "That's so sad. I think I will say a special prayer

for

>> them tonight."

>> The doctor said, "Good idea. I'm going to contact my ophthalmologist

>> colleague and see if there's anything he can do for them."

>> The engineer said, "Why can't they play at night?"

>>

>>

>> Understanding Engineers - Take Four

>> What is the difference between mechanical engineers and civil engineers?

>> Mechanical engineers build weapons and civil engineers build targets.

>>

>>

>> Understanding Engineers - Take Five

>> The graduate with a science degree asks, "Why does it work?"

>> The graduate with an engineering degree asks, "How does it work?" The

>> graduate with an accounting degree asks, "How much will it cost?" The

>> graduate with an arts degree asks, "Do you want fries with that?"

>>

>>

>> Understanding Engineers - Take Six

>> Three engineering students were gathered together discussing the

>> possible designers of the human body.

>> One said, "It was a mechanical engineer. Just look at all the joints."

>> Another said, "No, it was an electrical engineer. The nervous system

has

>> many thousands of electrical connections."

>> The last one said, "No, actually it had to have been a civil engineer.

>> Who else would run a toxic waste pipeline through a recreational area

>?"

>>

>>

>> Understanding Engineers - Take Seven

>> Normal people believe that if it ain't broke, don't fix it.

>> Engineers believe that if it ain't broke, it doesn't have enough

>> features yet.

>>

>>

>> Understanding Engineers - Take Eight

>> An engineer was crossing a road one day, when a frog called out to him

>> and said, "If you kiss me, I'll turn into a beautiful princess."

>> He bent over, picked up the frog and put it in his pocket.

>> The frog spoke up again and said, "If you kiss me and turn me back into

>> a beautiful princess, I will stay with you for one week."

>> The engineer took the frog out of his pocket, smiled at it and returned

>> it to the pocket.

>> The frog then cried out, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a

>> Princess, I'll stay with you for one week and do ANYTHING you want."

>> Again, the engineer took the frog out, smiled at it and put it back into

>> his pocket.

>> Finally, the frog asked, "What is the matter? I've told you I'm a

>> beautiful princess, and that I'll stay with you for one week and do

>> anything you want. Why won't you kiss me?"

>> The engineer said, "Look, I'm an engineer. I don't have time for a

>> girlfriend, but a talking frog, now that's cool."