2008 Darwin awards

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   You've been waiting for them with bated breath, so without further ado here are the 2008 Darwin awards.

Eighth Place
In
Detroit, a 41-year-old man got stuck and drowned in two feet of water
after squeezing head first through an 18-inch-wide sewer grate to
retrieve his car keys.

Seventh Place
A 49-year-old San
Francisco stockbroker, who 'totally zoned when he ran', accidentally
jogged off a 100-foot high cliff on his daily run.

Sixth Place
While
at the beach, Daniel Jones, 21, dug an 8 foot hole for protection from
the wind and had been sitting in a beach chair at the bottom when it
collapsed, burying him beneath 5 feet of sand.
People on the beach
used their hands and shovels trying to get him out but could not reach
him. It took rescue workers using heavy equipment almost an hour to
free him. Jones was pronounced dead at a hospital.

Fifth Place
Santiago Alvarado, 24, was killed as he fell through the ceiling of a bicycle shop he was burglarizing.

Death
was caused when the long flashlight he had placed in his mouth to keep
his hands free rammed into the base of his skull as he hit the floor.

Fourth Place
Sylvester
Briddell, Jr., 26, was killed as he won a bet with friends who said he
would not put a revolver loaded with four bullets into his mouth and
pull the trigger.

Third Place
After stepping around a
marked police patrol car parked at the front door, a man walked into
H&J Leather & Firearms intent on robbing the store.

The shop was full of customers and a uniformed officer was standing at the counter.

Upon seeing the officer, the would-be robber announced a hold-up and fired a few wild shots from a target pistol.

The officer and a clerk promptly returned fire, and several customers also drew their guns and fired.

The robber was pronounced dead at the scene by Paramedics.

Crime scene investigators located 47 expended cartridge cases in the shop.

The subsequent autopsy revealed 23 gunshot wounds. Ballistics identified rounds from 7 different weapons.
No one else was hurt.

HONOURABLE MENTION
Paul
Stiller, 47, and his wife Bonnie were bored just driving around at 2
A..M. so they lit a quarter stick of dynamite to toss out the window to
see what would happen.

Apparently they failed to notice the window was closed.

RUNNER UP
Kerry
Bingham had been drinking with several friends when one of them said
they knew a person who had bungee-jumped from a local bridge in the
middle of traffic.

The conversation grew more heated and at least 10 men trooped along the walkway of the bridge at 4:30 AM.

Upon arrival at the midpoint of the bridge they discovered that no one had brought a bungee rope.

Bingham, who had continued drinking, volunteered and pointed out that a coil of lineman's cable lay near by.

They secured one end around Bingham's leg and then tied the other to the bridge.

His fall lasted 40 feet before the cable tightened and tore his foot off at the ankle.

He miraculously survived his fall into the icy water and was rescued by two nearby fishermen. Bingham's foot was never located.

AND THE WINNER IS...
Zookeeper
Friedrich Riesfeldt (Paderborn, Germany) fed his constipated elephant
22 doses of animal laxative and more than a bushel of berries, figs and
prunes before the plugged-up pachyderm finally got relief.

Investigators
say ill-fated Friedrich, 46, was attempting to give the ailing elephant
an olive oil enema when the relieved beast unloaded.

The sheer
force of the elephant's unexpected defecation knocked Mr. Riesfeldt to
the ground where he struck his head on a rock as the elephant continued
to evacuate 200 pounds of dung on top of him.

It seems to be just one of those freak accidents that proves...
'Sh*t happens'

IT ALWAYS SEEMS IMPORTANT TO THANK THESE PEOPLE FOR REMOVING THEMSELVES FROM THE GENE POOL

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Rhys Members Profile Send Private Message Find Members Posts Add to Buddy List Moderator Group Coffee addict... Joined: 02-February-2003 Location: from the Latin locātiō Status: Offline Points: 10053	Post Options Post Reply Quote Rhys Report Post Thanks(0) Quote Reply Topic: 2008 Darwin awards Posted: 10-July-2008 at 12:50
	You've been waiting for them with bated breath, so without further ado here are the 2008 Darwin awards. Eighth Place In Detroit, a 41-year-old man got stuck and drowned in two feet of water after squeezing head first through an 18-inch-wide sewer grate to retrieve his car keys. Seventh Place A 49-year-old San Francisco stockbroker, who 'totally zoned when he ran', accidentally jogged off a 100-foot high cliff on his daily run. Sixth Place While at the beach, Daniel Jones, 21, dug an 8 foot hole for protection from the wind and had been sitting in a beach chair at the bottom when it collapsed, burying him beneath 5 feet of sand. People on the beach used their hands and shovels trying to get him out but could not reach him. It took rescue workers using heavy equipment almost an hour to free him. Jones was pronounced dead at a hospital. Fifth Place Santiago Alvarado, 24, was killed as he fell through the ceiling of a bicycle shop he was burglarizing. Death was caused when the long flashlight he had placed in his mouth to keep his hands free rammed into the base of his skull as he hit the floor. Fourth Place Sylvester Briddell, Jr., 26, was killed as he won a bet with friends who said he would not put a revolver loaded with four bullets into his mouth and pull the trigger. Third Place After stepping around a marked police patrol car parked at the front door, a man walked into H&J Leather & Firearms intent on robbing the store. The shop was full of customers and a uniformed officer was standing at the counter. Upon seeing the officer, the would-be robber announced a hold-up and fired a few wild shots from a target pistol. The officer and a clerk promptly returned fire, and several customers also drew their guns and fired. The robber was pronounced dead at the scene by Paramedics. Crime scene investigators located 47 expended cartridge cases in the shop. The subsequent autopsy revealed 23 gunshot wounds. Ballistics identified rounds from 7 different weapons. No one else was hurt. HONOURABLE MENTION Paul Stiller, 47, and his wife Bonnie were bored just driving around at 2 A..M. so they lit a quarter stick of dynamite to toss out the window to see what would happen. Apparently they failed to notice the window was closed. RUNNER UP Kerry Bingham had been drinking with several friends when one of them said they knew a person who had bungee-jumped from a local bridge in the middle of traffic. The conversation grew more heated and at least 10 men trooped along the walkway of the bridge at 4:30 AM. Upon arrival at the midpoint of the bridge they discovered that no one had brought a bungee rope. Bingham, who had continued drinking, volunteered and pointed out that a coil of lineman's cable lay near by. They secured one end around Bingham's leg and then tied the other to the bridge. His fall lasted 40 feet before the cable tightened and tore his foot off at the ankle. He miraculously survived his fall into the icy water and was rescued by two nearby fishermen. Bingham's foot was never located. AND THE WINNER IS... Zookeeper Friedrich Riesfeldt (Paderborn, Germany) fed his constipated elephant 22 doses of animal laxative and more than a bushel of berries, figs and prunes before the plugged-up pachyderm finally got relief. Investigators say ill-fated Friedrich, 46, was attempting to give the ailing elephant an olive oil enema when the relieved beast unloaded. The sheer force of the elephant's unexpected defecation knocked Mr. Riesfeldt to the ground where he struck his head on a rock as the elephant continued to evacuate 200 pounds of dung on top of him. It seems to be just one of those freak accidents that proves... 'Sh*t happens' IT ALWAYS SEEMS IMPORTANT TO THANK THESE PEOPLE FOR REMOVING THEMSELVES FROM THE GENE POOL
	V reg Rustbucket Merc C220 Cdi estate J Reg Saab 900i 16v '63 Ford Anglia 105e deluxe R reg Honda PC50 moped.. No BMW as yet...

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Peter Fenwick Members Profile Send Private Message Find Members Posts Add to Buddy List Bavarian-Board Contributor Joined: 27-August-2003 Location: Lost somewhere in time... Status: Offline Points: 6484	Post Options Post Reply Quote Peter Fenwick Report Post Thanks(0) Quote Reply Posted: 10-July-2008 at 15:40

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	hillarious!!!!!
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Misty Morning Members Profile Send Private Message Find Members Posts Add to Buddy List Really Senior Member II $Avatar$ Joined: 21-December-2006 Location: Up North Status: Offline Points: 1263	Post Options Post Reply Quote Misty Morning Report Post Thanks(0) Quote Reply Posted: 11-July-2008 at 15:01
	good one Rhys

nessiemark Members Profile Send Private Message Find Members Posts Add to Buddy List Really Senior Member I Joined: 02-March-2007 Location: Taunton (Scottish at Heart) Status: Offline Points: 366	Post Options Post Reply Quote nessiemark Report Post Thanks(0) Quote Reply Posted: 13-July-2008 at 10:41
	very good!!
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