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Football Humour

Printed From: Bavarian-Board.co.uk - BMW Owners Discussion Forum
Category: General Forums
Forum Name: General Off Topic Forum
Forum Discription: Discuss off topic issues related to BMWs.
URL: http://www.bavarian-board.co.uk/forum_posts.asp?TID=8632
Printed Date: 28-April-2024 at 04:33


Topic: Football Humour
Posted By: kbannon
Subject: Football Humour
Date Posted: 24-June-2004 at 14:12

http://shurl.ml1.net/BADLUCK1.MPE - Badluck1
http://shurl.ml1.net/BADLUCK2.MPE - Badluck2
http://shurl.ml1.net/BADLUCK3.MPE - Badluck3

http://www.radioireland.ie/audio/giftdryyoureyes-1.wma - Dry Your Eyes Becks



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Current: 2009 E60 520d "Sport" tractor
Previous: 1989 E30 320i SE
1997 E39 523i
2003 E39 525i Sport Individual


Replies:
Posted By: Horsetan
Date Posted: 24-June-2004 at 14:27
Oh, that's class.....

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Posted By: kbannon
Date Posted: 24-June-2004 at 14:56
apologies for this but I had to show it!


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Current: 2009 E60 520d "Sport" tractor
Previous: 1989 E30 320i SE
1997 E39 523i
2003 E39 525i Sport Individual

Posted By: Horsetan
Date Posted: 25-June-2004 at 00:56
Yes, I thought that was spectacularly unfortunate, hehehe. It'll probably end up on "Have I Got News For You"...

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Posted By: kbannon
Date Posted: 05-July-2004 at 12:53

...and more:-

Figo, Ronaldo and Beckham are at the pearly gates of heaven, when St. Peter opens the gate.
He turns to Figo and asks "Why do you deserves eternal happiness in
heaven my son?"
Figo replies "I am an artist, I inspire young people to be great footballers, and in turn take them away from a life of crime."
St. Peter nods, impressed.
He turns to Ronaldo and asks the same question.
Ronaldo retorts "When I play football I treat everyone as an equal, I
see no ethnic or racial divides. The boy from Rio is the same as the
superstar from Madrid."
One again St. Peter is impressed, and nods.
Next he turns to beckham.
"I suppose you are looking for your ball back?"

===

Fast forward to 2006 - it is just before Egypt v Brazil at the next World Cup Group game. Ronaldo goes into the Brazilian changing room to find all his teammates looking a bit glum.
"What's up?" he asks. "Well, we're having trouble getting motivated for this game. We know it's important but it's only Egypt. They're rubbish and we can't be bothered".
Ronaldo looks at them and says "Well, I reckon I can beat these by myself, you lads go down the pub."
So Ronaldo goes out to play Egypt by himself and the rest of the Brazilian team go off for a few drinks. After a few pints they wonder how the game is going, so they get the barman to put the teletext on. A big cheer goes up as the screen reads "Brazil 1 - Egypt 0 (Ronaldo 10minutes)".
He is beating Egypt all by himself!
Anyway, a few more pints later and the game is forgotten until someone remembers "It must be full time now, let's see how he got on". They put the teletext on. "Result from the Stadium "Brazil 1 (Ronaldo 10 minutes) - Egypt 1 (Hassan 89 minutes)".
They can't believe it, he has single handedly got a draw against Egypt!! They rush back to the Stadium to congratulate him.
They find him in the dressing room, still in his gear, sat with his head in his hands. He refuses to look at them.
"I've let you down, I've let you down."
"Don't be daft, you got a draw against Egypt, all by yourself.
And they only scored at the very, very end!" "No, No, I have, I've let you down... I got sent off after 12 minutes"

===

A businessman is driving out of Glasgow one Friday evening along the M8. He runs into a traffic jam, but after about 10 minutes sitting still, he's beginning to think "hey, this is worse than usual". He sees a policeman wandering between the line of cars, so winds down his window and calls him over to ask whats going on ahead. "Its a Rangers fan," says the policeman. "He's feeling really depressed
because his team failed to do anything this season after all the mouthing off he's been doing since last year. He also says hes got no friends, all his family hate him and he's never had a job. He's threatening to douse himself in petrol and set himself on fire in the middle of the road. I've had a long chat with him, and now I'm taking up a collection for him."
The businessman is impressed. "WOW, thats really good of you," he says.
"How much have you collected for him so far?"
"Well," says the policeman, "About 20 gallons, but alot of people are still siphoning........."



-------------
Current: 2009 E60 520d "Sport" tractor
Previous: 1989 E30 320i SE
1997 E39 523i
2003 E39 525i Sport Individual


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